Wednesday 16 March 2011

On a lighter note

Whilst at Chris's mums we came across a parish magazine and we thought we would share these excellent recipes we liked the look of

Recipe for Mum's and Toddlers Flapjacks

Remove Teddy bear from oven and preheat oven
Grease shallow 19cm square tin
Remove teddy bear from oven again and say "No No"
Cream the butter
Take butter tub away from toddler and wipe down the cupboard doors
Mix together the sugar and oats and gradually work into creamed butter until thoroughly blended.  Remove small plastic dinosaur from mixture.
Take the butter away from toddler again and wipe down the cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches.  Glare at cat.
Remove crayons from prepared tin and replace with mixture.
Press this evenly into tin with a round bladed knife.
Open oven, retrieve now smouldering teddy bear, and open windows and doors for ventilation.
Place flapjack mixture in oven, and reassure anxious neighbour that house is not on fire.
Bake Flapjack mixture at 220 degrees mark 7 for about 15 minutes, until golden brown.
While flapjacks are baking conduct swift neighbourhood search for toddler who disappeared out the door when anxious neighbour came in
Lift toddler out of muddy puddle next door
Take toddler home and on way through kitchen towards bathroom switch off oven
By time toddler has been bathed and changed the flapjacks will be cool and ready to eat.  This is a good time to discuss with your toddler about why the tub of oats would have been better left alone and not sprinkled around the living room carpet in a pleasing pattern.

A bit late now but useful recipe for next Christmas

Christmas rich Fruitcake

I cup of water
1  cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2  cups of dried fruit
I teaspoon of salt
I teaspoon of baking soda
I cup of brown sugar
8 oz. (225 grms.) nuts
Juice of I lemon
I bottle of whisky

Sample whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat!
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure whisky is still okay.
Cry another tup. Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt — or something — who cares?
Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 180°C (350°F) Gas Mark 4.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Thrown the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've only just found your blog - this is PRICELESS!!
Best wishes with getting aboard